I love dogs. Anyone and everyone’s dogs. I regularly house-sit and care for the dog of a relative, who is devoutly christian. I do not caplitalize the word christian because I believe it is part of our collective unquestioning, unconscious and dangerous acceptance of the false superiority of one faith over others, and the same for the word ‘bible’. One day I arrived at the house and the radio station was playing christian music. As my relative was getting ready to leave, she turned off the radio saying, “I’m going to turn you into a christian yet.” I can’t speak to her motives, but the comment irritated me. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I vowed that the next time she made any comment like that, I was going to ask, “What in your supremely arrogant assessment of me makes you think I’m not a christian?”
I don’t attend religious services and I’m no longer a practicing Catholic. Does that mean I don’t understand the message of a wandering Jewish teacher who fought against the kind of hypocrisy I see in so-called christians every damn day? I don’t “study” the bible because it’s irrelevant to my life. A document written by men, for men, thousands of years ago and warped and twisted to serve very evil purposes throughout history has nothing to offer me. I don’t believe it’s the “word of God”. I believe it’s the word of violent men who want to maintain power and control over the masses, and most especially the female masses. Many churches have Sunday services, Wednesday bible study (in case the weekly brainwashing is wearing off) self-study bible groups for women and bible camps for kids. This looks to me like fear-based process addiction, but in a supreme effort to not become what I’m criticizing here, I cannot speak to or about another’s faith and spiritual experience. It’s none of my business, unless they make it my business by attempting to shove it down my throat.
Nearly all of my family call themselves christian. A very close relative and many friends are ordained ministers of various sects of christianity. I’m also active in social justice initiatives and I walk a very fine line with how I carry myself in groups I’m working with. Historically in America, the christian church has been a safe haven for black and brown folks and they absolutely do not need a white woman disrespecting their gathering spaces. Ironically, as much as they talk and sing about Jesus and their faith, I’ve never felt the kind of forceful pressure to be other than who I am in a religious gathering of black people. I’ve never felt the same haughty judgement of the state of my Soul with the underlying emotional violence I feel from white christians.
What most people don’t know is that I’ve had a personal experience of Christ coming to me during one of the worst times of my life. I don’t talk about it much and I’m not going into detail here because I don’t want to cheapen my profoundly soulful experience by making it a “spectacle”. It was when my husband was near death in the ICU after a bad motorcycle accident. So I’ve experienced what I believe to be the Divine, or it could just be my very active imagination. I’ve had many awe-inspiring mystical experiences in my life. I’m in touch with Heaven on a daily basis and I don’t need a group to direct my faith and how I live my life. Do people actually believe that Jesus Christ has such a huge ego that you have to publicly and loudly kiss his ass until you die to be “saved”? Saved from what? Living on this planet with so many willfully ignorant and power hungry humans has been a living nightmare for me. Why would I want to spend eternity with them?
The bible quote attributed to Jesus of Nazareth, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one gets to the Father except through me,” sounds a lot like a fascist dictator. Did Jesus really say this and mean it in a literal egotistical way? I find it very hard to square with the man who said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” My interpretation is that we can never relate directly with the Creator without spiritual evolution, and I don’t care whether others agree with my interpretation. It’s for my spiritual path.
One of my favorite songs is “Jesus, Walk with Me” by Club 8. Here is a link to the lyrics if you are interested:
https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/3530822107858778855/
I don’t remember how I discovered it, but it was during the same timeframe as my ‘encounter’ with what I believe was Christ when my husband was in the ICU. I never listen to it in mixed company or talk about it because I do not want to invite that overpowering cultish fanaticism I witness in a lot of Jesusy people. It’s the same energy I experience when I’m around addicts of any stripe. And of course, it’s not all ‘christians, just like it’s “not all cops, white people, politicians, men…” causing problems for others, but the “bad apples” seem to be winning their war on whomever their irrational fears tell them to attack.
I have pictures of Christ all over my home, and my favorite is The Universal Christ by Android Jones. I also have Buddha statues, angel paintings and a statue of a meditating Christ alongside a statue of the Hindu God, Ganesh. I have a statue of Ganesh in every room of my home. I do not “worship” the statues. I do not “worship” God/dess. That is something literal-minded religious people do. If I worship any living thing, it’s the earth, the sun, the water because that’s where all life on this planet comes from. And this bizarre amputation of spirit and body is why we have allowed the destruction of the planet and are all just waiting for some better afterlife. I can’t think of a more disrespectful slap in the face to the Creator.
We’ve had door to door ‘christian missionaries attempt to destroy one of the Buddha statues in our yard and had a wooden cross made with surveyor stakes placed in our driveway because of my yard art. How is that behavior ‘christian? Do these followers of Jesus really believe that the creator of the universe is threatened by other spiritual beliefs and teachings or is that just a violent projection of their fears?
For people who want my friendship and company, one of my criteria for relationship is that you respect my personal autonomous spirituality. It’s a non-negotiable boundary. You know who has never threatened me with emotional violence? My atheist friends. It would probably be easier to be an atheist, but Heaven keeps finding me.
May Heaven’s Blessings Be upon You.